Peri Menopause and Pots…The Gift that Keeps on Giving. 🎁

Well I don’t know about you, but I am living my best life over here with all the hormonal changes happening inside my body.🙋🏼   I mean, who doesn’t want to sweat all day and night?  🥵 Breathing…meh…it’s overrated.  Tachycardia is not only on point, it is beating it’s own record. That’s right!  Over achiever sitting here on my sofa with my laptop resting on what I can only hope is gas, but I am pretty sure is a new stomach roll.  I knew about six packs, but who knew your stomach could look like big fat yeast rolls?  All different sizes too!  It’s literally like being a science project?  Also, who in the world invented full-length mirrors?  I’m certain it was a man.  No offense guys.  But someone took it a step further and thought, “You know what would go great with these mirrors?  Fluorescent lighting!” 👎🏻   It’s the gift that keeps on giving!  You will never be able to see every dimple in one shopping trip.  No, they just keep popping up and I keep buying stretchy jeans.

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I think one of my favorite past times has become these random  mood swings.  Why am I mad?  I don’t know!  Why are YOU mad?  Stop talking to me.  Or better yet, when your child asks a simple question and you are not sure you can use your inside voice.  It’s as though someone else has invaded your body!  I pitched a fit over garlic knots.  Guess who has never even had a garlic knot?  Yep, that’s correct..yours truly.  🙋🏼‍♀️ But somehow garlic knots were misplaced.  My son who was trying to find them became aggravated and told me maybe I forgot the garlic knots.  I forgot the garlic knots??? Did he really just say that to me?  He decided to look inside the freezer in our garage.  But as he was going, I was following behind him.  “I forgot the garlic knots?  Guess what?  I am gonna find those garlic knots, show them to you and then trash them!  Yeah, that’s right!”   Then suddenly I stopped and looked around as though this must be a dream.  Nope, this was real life.  Do you know what is more annoying than mood swings? Forgetting what led to you to suddenly throw on your pj’s, eat ice cream from the carton, while watching a Hallmark movie and crying.

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Since my body has decided to go through puberty again, I have curves which never existed the first 40 years of my life.  I walk by a mirror in awe and panic at the same time.  I think, “What is that on your backside? And how did it grow so quickly?”  Maybe it was all the cashew ice cream and marshmallows I HAD to eat?  I can’t even begin to explain the cravings.  It’s as though I have no choice but to eat the food.  Don’t say it!  🤐 “Have something in moderation”… “use discipline”.  I’m sorry, but I am going to need you to stop talking now.

So how do you make it through peri menopause while living with Pots(or without Pots for that matter)?  I so wish I could insert an inspirational quote here.  But instead I can only say, “peri menopause is puberty’s obnoxious older sister.  You are not crazy if you envision how you can fit your body into the refrigerator.  Cross your legs when you cough or sneeze.  I may have wanted a smoking hot body before, but I should have been more specific.  When in doubt, shut your mouth.”

Personally, my Pots symptoms have been flipped upside down, twisted like a pretzel, and served with a nice piece of crazy to top it off.  I know it will get better..in like 100 years.  I also know I am not the only one on the crazy train!  So, if you are in a similar season of life, know you are not alone.  Well sometimes you are.  Let’s face it, you are not the most enjoyable person to hang out with at the moment.  I’m just hoping to go shopping before my backside eats all my pants.

 

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