Look at that precious child! She is a dancing princess! Wearing her tiara, fur coat, pigtails, pink boots, and princess dress…she is ready to party! I may be partial to the cuteness as she is my daughter, but she has taught me so much about living life. This child knows how to enjoy each moment. Moments where I would have been in a corner crying, she finds a way to enjoy herself. She says things like, “Well, that’s ok…I’ve always wanted to try something new anyway!” Instead of dwelling on how plans did not go as expected, she finds the excitement and joy in the present. For her, the present is a gift that she opens expecting the very best, even when the best does not happen.
I admire that trait in my daughter. I on the other hand was a glass half empty kind of child. I was a bit more stoic and anxiously concerned that something was always going to go wrong. A change in my plans could make me purchase a ticket to the negativity express! Only pessimists (although we call ourselves realists) are allowed on this train. It may or may not take off on time. You may or may not be able to find a seat. You may or may not reach your destination. But, rest assured everyone else traveling with you is just as disappointed as you are that things didn’t go as planned. They too are full of anxiety because their perfectionist complex has paralyzed them and caused great turmoil within. I exaggerate somewhat, but only by a small margin.
Having POTS has actually changed me in many ways. One of them being, I can see life through my daughter’s eyes more clearly. Maybe it’s because all my plans came to a halt and I had no other option but to take a serious look at my attitudes. Yes, I have more than one attitude. I actually have quite a few. But, having daily sickness has forced me to reassess many aspects of my life. One thing that has actually shocked me is that I was paralyzed with fear. I had dreams that I believed were planted by Christ in my life, but I was unwilling to take the next step. One was writing. For years I have been writing, but feared sharing the things I believed Jesus was speaking to my heart. I am not a journalism major. I am a novice, not a professional. You know that perfectionist complex? Well, those of us who carry one around like a sack of rocks on our back don’t do things we are not familiar with. Nope, we wait until we have a clear understanding before putting ourselves out there.
POTS spelled backwards says, “Stop”. And that’s what happened in my life. Everything seemed to stop. But then as I began the journey of this illness something else remarkable happened. I stopped allowing those voices that were continuously whispering in my ear that I was not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough to control my actions. It would seem that illness would stop everything, but it actually released me in many ways to go for the dreams God has placed within me. In all honesty, much of the time, I have no idea what I am doing. And let me tell you that would have stopped me in my tracks before! Yet, I am learning my part is obedience. If He speaks something to my heart to share, I share it. It really has nothing to do with me. The rest is in His hands. He promises to guide our steps if we remain focussed on Him. Not on ourselves, or our reputation, or our lack of ability, or______ (you can fill in the blank), but rather on His full ability to do what He says He will do.
So, if you are like me in realizing you have put your dreams or goals on hold for reasons that are unacceptable, take this word to heart. Start today! Take the first step! Get moving! He has placed within you all that is necessary to take the next step. Don’t sit like a sponge that has soaked to capacity but has not been used. That is how you spoil and rot. We are not meant to soak everything in, and then remain still. No! We are meant to spread all the goodness we have soaked up with the broken-hearted, with those in need, with our neighbors, families and friends. I encourage you today whatever dream or goal you have placed to the side out of fear, to take it before Christ and ask Him to guide your steps. It may be your weight, your thoughts, your actions, or your lack of actions that needs to be addressed. Don’t let past failures keep you from living a full life in Jesus Christ. Only the enemy wants to steal true life from you! Jesus wants to give you life and life abundantly. He wants you excited for what is to come and not dread tomorrow. His life is like no other! So put your princess (or prince) clothes on and start dancing…and dream again!!!!!
“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established” Proverbs 16:3